The "slut" vote? You're joking, right?

I'm only 48, and sometimes, I feel ancient.  I recently read in an article that some women are trying to "rock the slut vote."  To paraphrase Billy Ray Cyrus, I just don't think I understand.  When did having round heels become fashionable?

Women have a gift, and it is one that men all over the planet want.  Okay, we have multiple gifts to give.  We are warm and soft and we smell good.  And we have breasts and pretty hair and sparkly makeup.  Those and more are things men adore.  And there's one thing they desire more than all of that.  They want to "know" us in the biblical sense.

A woman's inner regions, so to speak, are something very powerful, and very valuable.  Why are so many women proud to give it away like it's stale popcorn at a "We finance anybody!" used car event?

Do not take me wrong.  I am no prude.  I'm just a little bit perplexed as to when things changed so dramatically.  Back in the day, a woman and a man occasionally jumped the gun, as it were.  Then, when the rabbit died, they got married.  I jokingly refer to those children as "shotgun preemies."  There was no shame in a full-term baby arriving seven months into the marriage, because that was how that generation rolled.  My oldest brother is a shotgun preemie.  He is one of about six in my social circle.  I won't out every shotgun preemie I know, but you catch my drift.  And nobody cares that someone honked the bobo before having benefit of the clergy, because both the man and the woman did the right thing for their kids.

Now, we have something known as "booty calls."  That is women giving away the milk for free, and then some.  I mean, you're not just giving away sex.  You are also foreclosing some opportunities.  What decent man wants to spend his life with a gal whose sexual partners number in the triple digits?  Besides the very obvious health concerns (yes, sexually transmitted diseases are both real and sometimes deadly), there is a complete lack of mystery.  That furrow has been plowed a hundred times.  What exactly is left to discover?

Also, there are men out there who will raise another man's child.  There aren't a whole lot of them, though.  Are you 25 with three kids?  You are more likely to be struck with a meteorite than you are to find a good husband.

Do not think for a second that I am letting men off the hook.  I believe a promiscuous man is equally as icky as a promiscuous women.  Man-sluts don't get as much airplay, because they aren't standing there with their hands out, demanding that the government pay and pay and pay for their poor choices.  Quite to the contrary, there is a distinct legal bias against fathers.  The tales of men trying to be involved in the life of their children, but women treating them as nothing more than a cash cow, are tragic.  Gentlemen, have as much sex as you wish.  But remember, when that accident happens, and you willingly pay your child support, you are still completely screwed.  She doesn't want your offspring to have a male role model.  She only wants to live off your assets.

I hope none of this sounds preachy, because it is not intended to be.  I'm no saint, and I have made my share of mistakes and bad choices.  Still, at the end of the day, I believe in the concept of man and woman as partners.  Not adversaries, not f***ing friends, not sources of income, not something to be sliced and diced.  Simply...  Partners.  Friends.  Lovers.

Is that hopelessly quaint?

Today's women could learn a lot from an 80s film called Streets Of Fire.  There was Willem Dafoe, the bad guy who took what he wanted without asking.  There was Michael Paré, the hero who would brave the fires of hell for his lady.  And there was Rick Moranis, the adorkable "steady guy."  (Watch this video.  You will never look at shiny red dresses the same way again.)

Girls, it doesn't matter if you're Diane Lane, the beautiful sexy singer, or Amy Madigan, the bad-ass chick with a shotgun, or some combination of the two.  Whoever you are, pick one of the two good guys.  Stay away from Raven.  He is not a good man.

Choose a man that will be a good partner, and a good father to your children should you decide upon that path.  And please, I beg you, stop handing out access to your veejayjay like it's penny candy.  Do you really want to wake up some day and realize you've bonked the entire regiment?  More to the point, do you honestly want to embrace and epitomize the word "slut"?