John Pike
Pepper Spray Is the New Patchouli
The police warned that if protestors didn’t move, force would be used to remove them. Protestors didn’t move. Force was used to remove them.
What’s the big deal?
Liberals were aghast at last Friday’s video showing Police Lt. John Pike shooting pepper spray at a row of seated protestors blocking a walkway at the University of California at Davis. The protestors were barricading the path against officers trying to arrest students who had violated the college’s order prohibiting pitching tents on the quad.
Curiously, the seated protestors had their heads down and eyes covered during the entire 10-second assault. This may have had something to do with the fact that the sadistic monster Pike had raised his bright-red pepper spray can in the air and shook it for about five minutes before spraying, in order to warn the protestors about what was coming. In the video, onlookers can be heard calling out, “Keep your eyes closed!” “Cover your eyes!” and “Protect yourself!” Upon being sprayed, none of the seated protestors appeared to cry out in pain, though it was difficult to hear over the onlookers wailing, “You guys are supposed to protect us!”
One hysterical woman in the video can be heard yowling, “Why are you doing this? These are children!” which I guess is supposed to be aurally reminiscent of “It’s for the children!”
For those who don’t belong to the Young Democratic Socialists, pepper spray is a commonly used, non-lethal crowd control agent that is a chemical cousin of mace and other tear gases. It induces watery eyes, runny nose, and coughing—which can’t be any worse than the symptoms of Zuccotti Lung. read more »




